I'm Hunting A Princess...

I DON’T DATE UGLY WOMEN AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!!!

Ok, now that I’ve got your attention… Let me go ahead and clarify what I mean by that before I get hate mail flooding my inbox for being a sexist pig.

What do I mean by “ugly women”. Well, here’s what I don’t mean: a woman’s physicallity & sexual appeal to a man. I’m not talking about how good a woman looks at all. In fact, the very title, “Hunting a Princess”, is probably quite a quandary to a lot of folks. I was telling a married couple whom I’m good friends with about this blog that I’ve been wanting to write for some time now, and the wife's initial reaction was, “Hunting a princess? You don’t hunt a princess.” And the husband’s immediate response was, “Oh, yes you do.”

But back to my opening statement, I don't date ugly women. Now, that's not to say that I haven't in the past. And this is not supposed to be a slam on anyone in particular, but if I'm not talking about a girl's physical attractiveness, what am I trying to get at?

I've been on plenty of dates with girls who are by all means, very physically attractive. I'm pretty sure that some of them had to be blind because, physically, they were way out of my league. But when it came right down to it, they were merely girls. They weren't women who garnered respect. They tried to demand it, but as we all know respect is not something that is achieved by demanding it. Respect is earned; it is given. It is never taken. A woman does not need to require it from you because her character instead makes you want to freely give it. Physicality is what makes a woman hot. And even the hottest stars in the sky burn out. It’s her character, her attitude that makes a woman beautiful.

And while we're on the topic of clearing things up, let me go ahead and dismiss something. I want to clarify this notion of "Hunting a princess". First of all, if you think that by hunting I mean that I am sneaking around trying to find someone whom I can club over the head and beat my chest at saying, "Me man, you woman. Me say, you do.", you are sadly mistaken. You see, if you are thinking that a princess is someone to be conquered, then all I can say is, "Help you!" You obviously don't understand the character of a princess.

Also, if you think that princess is someone who is all frills and can't get down and dirty, well you need to check yourself and rethink your criterions for a princess.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

1. A princess is not someone who is to be conquered: A woman who is worthy of my time and effort, is not a woman who is willing to be overrun by any man who comes along that looks good enough and has a big enough bank account to supply her overzealous shopping habits. (Disclaimer: When it comes to shopping, I really can't say anything. Let's just say that working at Express has not helped my current financial situation.)

No, no, no. A princess is destined to become a Queen. In fact, I’m not going to even be looking at any particular princess unless I think that she's capable of being MY Queen. (Don't kid yourself though; I'm definitely not in any kind of rush whatsoever.) That would just be a waste of my time, energy, and money (remember, there's not much of that one to go around).

And what exactly does a Queen do? She is the main helper and confidant of the King. She is his life’s partner; his missing variable that solves the equation of his purpose in life. The King cannot do what he is called to do without her. She is not a lowly caricature of a figure-head, but is instead a vital support which the King must lean on in troubled times. She is a strong woman who can rule over and take care of her responsibilities with honor, prestige, and grace. For the portrait of an insanely amazing woman, go check out Proverbs 31.

Now, don't be goin and putting words in my mouth either. I am not saying that a woman should be equal in responsibility to a man in a relationship. A Queen must be submissive to the King as outlined in scripture. But don't think for a moment that Biblical submission is in any way an oppressed state of subservient indenturedness.

It's interesting to me that the word for submissive in Eph 5 is a Greek military term used for the voluntary ranking of oneself under another. Biblical submission is not about value, it’s all about order. A man must exercise headship because the buck stops at him. (Who was blamed for the fall? ADAM!!!) He is ultimately responsible for the family, and will give an account for his leadership. But if there are two people in the house who are always jockeying for position of headship, how will there be peace in that home? (Proverbs 25:24) Anything with two heads is a monster: you either kill it, or put it behind glass and stare at it. (Thank you Voddie. If you haven't heard anything like this before, check out Voddie Baucham's sermon series on relationships that he gave at 722 in Atlanta a few years back. This whole paragraph was pretty much lifted off of his 4 part series. It will rock your world.)

I think that Freddie King put it best in one of his songs when he said, "I need a strong woman who knows how to be weak."

2. A princess is all frills: Ok, I don’t know if you’ve taken a look at Proverbs 31 like I told you to, but the woman pictured there is anything but all frills. (Doesn't mean that she ain't F-I-N-E though.) And I don’t know if you’ve taken a close look at what it takes to be a mother, but it’s a heck of a lot of work. My mom is a great mother, and is an even better grandmother. What’s great is that I’ve been able to see all of the time and energy and effort it takes just to be a good grandmother, and that’s when the kids go home at the end of the day.

A princess is someone who can multitask with the best of them. She knows how to balance a career, a ministry, and still keep her family as her top priority. That my friends, is no easy task. And it goes back to my point about earning respect. Why in the world would I ever want to spend my time with someone who is not able to win over my respect as a single young woman? How much more important is it for me to understand her character as being the potential mother of my children?

I can’t even begin to describe how badly I want to be a good father. It aches deep down in my bones to have a son to teach how to hit a baseball and how to drive a stick shift. And to have a daughter to train up in righteousness so that when some bum of a 14 year old kid comes up to her, he won’t have a chance unless he matches up to the godly gentleman that she deserves. (Not to mention that I'm already planning to be oh so covieniantly cleaning my shot gun collection when her first date comes to pick her up. The very collection that will begin the day she's born.) And to gird both of them (or more) with the understanding of the Gospel and Christ’s love for us, and then catapult them into the world with one purpose in mind: The Glory of God.

Fellas, listen up. We have to realize that we are to be the men of God whom he has made us to be, and that we are to be the leaders of our households. But not only that: If there is any way that we are to accomplish the ministries that our Lord has given us, then we cannot do it alone.

Ladies, this one’s for you. Please don’t give into the lies of the world that are so rampant in our culture. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! And let me tell you, he doesn’t screw stuff up. If you will begin to set your standards higher than, "Oh, he was baptized once and says that he knows Jesus so he must be a Christian", and move towards seeking someone who is not only a Christian, but a young (or not so young) man who is capable of being able to lead and disciple you and your future (or present) children in love, then you’ll stop falling for the losers who always leave you disappointed and hurt.

I’m hunting my princess: not only for myself per se, but for the Kingdom of God and what he has in store for both of our lives. I don't know if I even know her name yet, but rest assured, I will find her.

Gen 2:23-24 "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.