I'm Hunting A Princess...

I DON’T DATE UGLY WOMEN AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!!!

Ok, now that I’ve got your attention… Let me go ahead and clarify what I mean by that before I get hate mail flooding my inbox for being a sexist pig.

What do I mean by “ugly women”. Well, here’s what I don’t mean: a woman’s physicallity & sexual appeal to a man. I’m not talking about how good a woman looks at all. In fact, the very title, “Hunting a Princess”, is probably quite a quandary to a lot of folks. I was telling a married couple whom I’m good friends with about this blog that I’ve been wanting to write for some time now, and the wife's initial reaction was, “Hunting a princess? You don’t hunt a princess.” And the husband’s immediate response was, “Oh, yes you do.”

But back to my opening statement, I don't date ugly women. Now, that's not to say that I haven't in the past. And this is not supposed to be a slam on anyone in particular, but if I'm not talking about a girl's physical attractiveness, what am I trying to get at?

I've been on plenty of dates with girls who are by all means, very physically attractive. I'm pretty sure that some of them had to be blind because, physically, they were way out of my league. But when it came right down to it, they were merely girls. They weren't women who garnered respect. They tried to demand it, but as we all know respect is not something that is achieved by demanding it. Respect is earned; it is given. It is never taken. A woman does not need to require it from you because her character instead makes you want to freely give it. Physicality is what makes a woman hot. And even the hottest stars in the sky burn out. It’s her character, her attitude that makes a woman beautiful.

And while we're on the topic of clearing things up, let me go ahead and dismiss something. I want to clarify this notion of "Hunting a princess". First of all, if you think that by hunting I mean that I am sneaking around trying to find someone whom I can club over the head and beat my chest at saying, "Me man, you woman. Me say, you do.", you are sadly mistaken. You see, if you are thinking that a princess is someone to be conquered, then all I can say is, "Help you!" You obviously don't understand the character of a princess.

Also, if you think that princess is someone who is all frills and can't get down and dirty, well you need to check yourself and rethink your criterions for a princess.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

1. A princess is not someone who is to be conquered: A woman who is worthy of my time and effort, is not a woman who is willing to be overrun by any man who comes along that looks good enough and has a big enough bank account to supply her overzealous shopping habits. (Disclaimer: When it comes to shopping, I really can't say anything. Let's just say that working at Express has not helped my current financial situation.)

No, no, no. A princess is destined to become a Queen. In fact, I’m not going to even be looking at any particular princess unless I think that she's capable of being MY Queen. (Don't kid yourself though; I'm definitely not in any kind of rush whatsoever.) That would just be a waste of my time, energy, and money (remember, there's not much of that one to go around).

And what exactly does a Queen do? She is the main helper and confidant of the King. She is his life’s partner; his missing variable that solves the equation of his purpose in life. The King cannot do what he is called to do without her. She is not a lowly caricature of a figure-head, but is instead a vital support which the King must lean on in troubled times. She is a strong woman who can rule over and take care of her responsibilities with honor, prestige, and grace. For the portrait of an insanely amazing woman, go check out Proverbs 31.

Now, don't be goin and putting words in my mouth either. I am not saying that a woman should be equal in responsibility to a man in a relationship. A Queen must be submissive to the King as outlined in scripture. But don't think for a moment that Biblical submission is in any way an oppressed state of subservient indenturedness.

It's interesting to me that the word for submissive in Eph 5 is a Greek military term used for the voluntary ranking of oneself under another. Biblical submission is not about value, it’s all about order. A man must exercise headship because the buck stops at him. (Who was blamed for the fall? ADAM!!!) He is ultimately responsible for the family, and will give an account for his leadership. But if there are two people in the house who are always jockeying for position of headship, how will there be peace in that home? (Proverbs 25:24) Anything with two heads is a monster: you either kill it, or put it behind glass and stare at it. (Thank you Voddie. If you haven't heard anything like this before, check out Voddie Baucham's sermon series on relationships that he gave at 722 in Atlanta a few years back. This whole paragraph was pretty much lifted off of his 4 part series. It will rock your world.)

I think that Freddie King put it best in one of his songs when he said, "I need a strong woman who knows how to be weak."

2. A princess is all frills: Ok, I don’t know if you’ve taken a look at Proverbs 31 like I told you to, but the woman pictured there is anything but all frills. (Doesn't mean that she ain't F-I-N-E though.) And I don’t know if you’ve taken a close look at what it takes to be a mother, but it’s a heck of a lot of work. My mom is a great mother, and is an even better grandmother. What’s great is that I’ve been able to see all of the time and energy and effort it takes just to be a good grandmother, and that’s when the kids go home at the end of the day.

A princess is someone who can multitask with the best of them. She knows how to balance a career, a ministry, and still keep her family as her top priority. That my friends, is no easy task. And it goes back to my point about earning respect. Why in the world would I ever want to spend my time with someone who is not able to win over my respect as a single young woman? How much more important is it for me to understand her character as being the potential mother of my children?

I can’t even begin to describe how badly I want to be a good father. It aches deep down in my bones to have a son to teach how to hit a baseball and how to drive a stick shift. And to have a daughter to train up in righteousness so that when some bum of a 14 year old kid comes up to her, he won’t have a chance unless he matches up to the godly gentleman that she deserves. (Not to mention that I'm already planning to be oh so covieniantly cleaning my shot gun collection when her first date comes to pick her up. The very collection that will begin the day she's born.) And to gird both of them (or more) with the understanding of the Gospel and Christ’s love for us, and then catapult them into the world with one purpose in mind: The Glory of God.

Fellas, listen up. We have to realize that we are to be the men of God whom he has made us to be, and that we are to be the leaders of our households. But not only that: If there is any way that we are to accomplish the ministries that our Lord has given us, then we cannot do it alone.

Ladies, this one’s for you. Please don’t give into the lies of the world that are so rampant in our culture. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! And let me tell you, he doesn’t screw stuff up. If you will begin to set your standards higher than, "Oh, he was baptized once and says that he knows Jesus so he must be a Christian", and move towards seeking someone who is not only a Christian, but a young (or not so young) man who is capable of being able to lead and disciple you and your future (or present) children in love, then you’ll stop falling for the losers who always leave you disappointed and hurt.

I’m hunting my princess: not only for myself per se, but for the Kingdom of God and what he has in store for both of our lives. I don't know if I even know her name yet, but rest assured, I will find her.

Gen 2:23-24 "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The Throws of Battle (part 2, finally)...

Well my friends, its been a long time since my last blog, in fact, much too long. So I’m sorry to be so far behind, but c’est la vie.

In my last post, I wanted to write something that would put you into my head during a regular martial arts training session. That’s even me in the picture. But what in the world would that have to do with anything of any importance? What kind of implications could a short-story about a sparring match have in the grand scheme of things? Well my friends, if you name the name of Christ, then it has oh so much to do with our daily lives.

Let’s look at some various scriptures that really get me going… because when it comes right down to it, the Bible is covered from front to back with this sort of thing. But what sort of thing, pray tell, are we talking about…

Well, what I recounted in my little story there was a fairly typical (albeit slightly embellished) account of a sparring session between two black belts. The key to it is that at the end, the two stop from seriously hurting each other… and will probably go out afterwards and get some wings or pizza or whatever and relive their most recent foray. But the purpose of our scrimmages is to prepare ourselves for an altercation in the streets. In real life there’s no stopping, no rules, only a winner and a loser. And we don’t want to be the one on the losing side. So we beat our bodies, training our minds to endure all sorts of pain and to ignore it until we’re out of danger’s way. (Trust me though, after we’re out of harms way, the pain comes rushing back and we hurt just as bad as anyone else)

"Ok Jeff, but what's the thing you're trying to get at?" I'm glad you asked:

Self-Discipline in a Christian’s spiritual life: I would have never made it to the rank of a 3^rd degree black belt without some self-discipline. No one likes to hold a sitting stance (aka horse stance) for 10 minutes straight, but it helps to teach you to endure great amounts of pain and discomfort when your legs begin to ache and quiver and you feel like you won’t be able to make it another second but you push through anyway. (Try it at home... spread your feet out to the right and left side of your body about twice as wide as your shoulders with all ten toes pointed forward and sit your butt down to where your legs are at roughly an 80 degree bend with your back perfectly straight. Now time yourself and see how far you get.)

So let’s take a gander (now that’s a great southern word right there) at those verses shall we?...

Ezra 7:10 “Now Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.” – Ezra had made it his life’s focus to study the law of God AND TO PRACTICE IT. Listen, I can sit and memorize as many scripture verses as I can possibly cram into my brain, but if I’m not practicing them…. well that doesn’t do me a dang bit of good, now does it?

1 Corinthians 9:25-27 “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” – Hey fellas, are you struggling with pornography (Yeah, I said the “p” word. I ain’t scared… neither was Paul; see 1 Thess 4:3-5; 1 Cor 6:18-20; Rom 13:13)? Ladies, are you a malicious gossip (1 Tim 3:11; Titus 2:3)? These are physical problems that we must confront and beat our body into submission so that we not only continue to deny our flesh, but we begin to walk in the Spirit. And when that happens, we don’t fulfill the sinful desires of our flesh. (Gal 5:16)

Colossians 2:5 “For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ.” – Discipline goes hand in hand with the stability of our faith. Ask any athlete what happens when you get out of your normal training routine? You get weak, and your fundamentals get shaky. And what happens when your fundamentals get shaky…. very bad things. You often times lose.

1 Tim 4:7-8 “But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” – What’s the purpose of our discipline? The purpose of godliness, which in turn glorifies the Lord more than anything else we can do. (this, btw, is the very reason for our existence)

2 Tim 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” – Ok, check it out. If God has given us the spirit of discipline, guess what… That means that we can actually do it! Could you imagine if God had just said, “Ok, live a disciplined lifestyle Ready, GO!” Well then, I don’t think that many people, if any, could really do it. But here’s the deal… because he’s given us the spirit of discipline, the same spirit that allowed Jesus to endure the cross, we CAN have our daily quiet times (preaching to myself on that one there folks), we CAN praise him in the middle of the crappiest moments of our lives, we CAN run the race marked out for us. {I freaking love 1^st & 2^nd Timothy}

There’s so much more that could be pulled from this analogy, but I want you to divide the scriptures for yourselves. See how the Lord is applying this to your own life. Take on the mindset of Ezra and make it your purpose and mission to study the Word of God and practice it. That my friend is stout.

I’ll leave you with this, every believer can find themselves in one of two categories.

(1) Someone who's going through a struggle in their life…

(2) Someone who has come out of a struggle and is on their way to another one.

Number 2 seems like a pretty bleak outlook, but it really isn’t. Struggles in life are not bad things. In fact, they are most often times good things. When does your faith grow the most? At the mountain top where there’s nothing opposing you? Or is it when you are clawing and scraping up the side of that mountain and the rocks are seemingly falling from the sky on top of you? You really learn to trust and rely on that rope of yours that’s anchoring you to the face of the rock you’re climbing. That rope, that lifeline, that’s your Lord making sure that you are secure on your ascent up the rocky crag of life. And when you look back at the past walls that you’ve scaled, you realize that they seem to get steeper and harder, but that the one inside of you, the Holy Spirit, is constantly strengthening you more and more. And guess what, your muscles are getting stronger, and those seemingly insurmountable problems that you thought would end your life seem like child’s play now.

Run your race in such a way as to win it, and don’t you dare step into the ring of life not ready to knock out whatever comes your way. You’ve got the best team in your corner that anyone could ever ask for: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. If things get out of hand, they’ll take care of it. (Ps 35; Deut 32:39-43).

-Jeff